i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
