I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
