is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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