like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
