Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dick very happy bro
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
