I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
