the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize