i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
