Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
