She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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