after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
