This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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