A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
