in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize