Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
