She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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