The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
