She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize