so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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