Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
