so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
