i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
