Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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