i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
