so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
