The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
tell me about the eggs
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize