the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
