She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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