I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
