You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
