I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
