Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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