I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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