I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
