I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
