if you like me you must not know who I am
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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