Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
porn star boner night. come get it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
When are your genitals available?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
