I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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