My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
