He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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