Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize