At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
