Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
