he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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