their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize