Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
