Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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