if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
