:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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