Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
