We should be called the Road Head Warriors
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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