hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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