i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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