So drunk its hurt
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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