Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
