Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
