You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
