I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
