he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
