Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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