loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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