walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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