High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
