That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
