Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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