They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
