Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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