Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
