she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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