I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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