it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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