Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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