THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize